An adventure leads to battlefield

The lighter side of Matrimony

The late comedian and ‘King of One-liners’ Henry Youngman once said, “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret”. 

It must have been a frustrated husband who said, “Love is blind, deaf and stupid and marriage is an eye-opener.”

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it is when two people see eye to eye for a long time, love and marriage become a miracle.

No one seems to know the secret of a happy marriage but humour is a good way to start.

Men often set the ground rules but follow what their wives say.

I would say marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

We should pause and see some examples of successful marriages around us. Many senior couples (our parents and grandparents for instance) have stayed in the same relationship, celebrating their Silver, Golden and even Diamond weddings.

What a difference!

On the other hand, many youngsters of today are not able to stay together for more than a few years. Surely, there must be a secret formula.

I have heard some say that fate and luck play a part in the success of marriage.

The textbook explanation is that “True love is sustainable.”

What are the odds of finding the “one and only true love destined for you?”

What if he or she lives a million miles away or arrives at the scene years later? 

How would one know that he or she is the right person?

Whatever the secret, the real answer lies in finding a compromise and loyalty while honouring your commitment. 

The small details of our lives really matter in a relationship. They say it is not the house, car or the bank balance that matters, although these would certainly create a conducive environment for happiness. But these alone would not suffice.

Marriage can cause a sea of change, even among close friends. It is not uncommon for a married person to consider raising a family and pursuing a career as more important than attending parties or going to the cinema with friends.

Successful couples do not take each other for granted and maintain the channel of communication.

They negotiate differences and disagreements, smile and support each other and accept that loving is more important than winning.

Marriages can be easy sometimes, hard most times, but certainly tricky at all times.

The Best Teacher

According to experienced people, marriages are a 50/50 partnership, but many married men (including me) know that whoever said that either knew very little mathematics and even less about women.

I have a simple approach to relationship. I let my wife take all the minor decisions including purchasing a house, car, holiday plans and even less important ones such as what to eat, where to go, what I should wear and so on.

I take care of all major issues such as New Zealand’s Emissions Trading Scheme, whether Japan end whaling and the Middle East Peace Process, to name a few.

Being married for 10 years, I have realised that Marriage is the best teacher.

It has taught me loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and many other qualities that I did not bother to acquire as a bachelor.

I believe that the concept of marriage and its success depends on how one looks at it.

Some may say ‘Man is incomplete until he is married,’ while others may say ‘After marriage he is finished.’

Finally, as Milton Berle, the late American comedian said, “A good wife always forgives her husband when she is wrong.”

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